When Healing Comes Different

Reflections on the journey:

At the beginning in the hospital, we continually had faith. We believed that Kayden did not have Leukemia. We also believed that he would not need treatment. I did quite a bit of research- it could have been something else. But aside from researching things, I had the faith to believe and say- Kayden does not have Leukemia.

 

The 2nd opinion doctors needed more information. On day 8, I agreed to let the hospital doctors do a bone marrow biopsy. I had peace about the biopsy. Up to this point, Kayden had only received IV fluid, which was a saline drip only. He also received ibuprofen if needed, and for 3 days, he was given a medicine to bring down his Uric Acid level. That’s it. Kayden was doing very well- up moving around, laughing, joking, eating… normal teenage things.

*MIRACLE*

I continually fasted and prayed for direction those first 10 days. I sought my Abba Father about His son. He didn’t belong to me. I came to understand that Kayden was His, not mine. I have been blessed beyond measure to raise His son and I count it as a privilege. But he’s not mine. Abba knows Kayden’s beginning and his end. He knows every hair on his head. Kayden lives, moves, and has his being through Him. So I fasted and prayed, asking Him daily what to do. I didn’t stop when I didn’t hear the first day. I kept fasting and talking to Abba. He’s the only one with the answers for Kayden.

This is an absolute must when we are seeking direction. I didn’t just fast from food. I fasted from entertainment. I shut off and out all distractions and focused on the Lord and Kayden.

*Side note… We cannot assume we’re hearing clearly from the Lord with other voices in our ears. *

I shut out all social media and TV (these are big distractions saints). I was also selective with who I spoke to. Why? In times that demand high faith and clarity, we need to limit conversations with those that are not of like faith. We should also be selective in what we say- faith talk only, no matter what it looks like. It didn’t mean we didn’t love them. It meant I needed the Lord more, so I prioritized His voice over others. I didn’t need the “Oh no!” or “Sorry to hear that” conversations. I needed the “I’m standing in agreement with you” and “We wrestle not against flesh and blood…” conversations! Didn’t need unbelief masked in sympathy. We needed love in the form of spiritual warfare stance!

I will do a video on that soon.

Along with prayers and supplications, I also changed his diet starting day one. I saw blood test results daily and I began giving him vitamins and supplements to help improve what was needed. I also provided (with help from others) specific foods to help his body recover and heal without medicines and treatment. Yes, I did this while he was in the hospital. He was not in immediate danger of death or anything of the sort during this time. Though he felt a bit weak and had pain every now and then, this kiddo was up playing games and hanging out with whoever would visit.

Changing his diet and adding the natural good things made a major difference almost immediately, as all of the testings were out of normal range when he was admitted. Within a couple days, all enzymes, minerals, organ function, cells (except red and white cells) went back to normal. This lasted the first 9 days. Strength returned and pain went away. The red and white cells didn’t get into normal range, but they improved drastically as well.

I believe the Lord used this time for Kayden to get stronger. Starting treatment while his body was out of wack would have caused additional issues without a doubt. He was lacking key nutrients.

Back to day 8…

On that same day after agreeing to the biopsy (day 8), I heard this:

“Healing is going to look different than you want or expect.”

I didn’t fully understand what that meant. However, I felt it was the opposite of what I was praying and believing for. I didn’t stop, though mama heart was concerned. Prayer increased for me that day. 

Day 9 (day of biopsy)

Things began to change for Kayden negatively. He spiked a fever twice and pain increased. He wasn’t able to stand or sit on his own, and all blood counts (white and red cells, hemoglobin, platelets, etc.) went in the opposite directions they were going previously. I didn’t panic.

I talked to my Abba about His son and asked Him what was going on.

I filled in the church leaders and family and asked all to pray.

I heard it again but a little different:

“Healing will look different than you expect.”

But I didn’t stop praying and believing. I did, however, begin asking Abba what that meant. What does look different mean?

As they took him back for procedure that afternoon, I also heard this:

“Don’t fear the plan, the process or the people.”

It was clear as day. This helped my mama heart and gave me so much peace as I left him in the procedure room. This was the first of many procedures Kayden would have. And this was the first time I would say to him, “Faith over fear. I love you.” before he would be under anesthesia. I’ve said it every time he’s had a procedure since then. When I said it to him, it’s a reminder for me as much as it is for him. He says, “I love you too.”, nodes his head every time, and goes to sleep.

As I waited that first time in the surgical waiting room I was the only one in there. I listened to praise and sang unto the Lord. I cried, but as I cried, I talked to Abba. I kept my eyes on Jesus and prayed as I waited.

The biopsy went well and he had absolutely no pain(except when I touched it on accident- Oops). He woke happy and rested. No issues from the procedure.

*MIRACLE*

Day 10 I heard again:

“Healing will look different than you expect.”

Now the day after the biopsy, things were worse than the day before. His cell counts kept going in the wrong direction. Then the biopsy came back toward the end of the day, and it showed Leukemia (ALL). My heart sank. Anxiety, worry, and fear all came at the same time. This was not what I was praying and believing for. What do I do now? Still, I sent his chart and testing results to two other oncologist to receive a second opinion. Both of them confirmed it was ALL. 

Daily and throughout the days on this journey, I asked the leaders to pray for Kayden and I gave them specifics. But this day… this day I asked them to pray for me. My heart hurt and I needed wisdom to know what to do quickly (where to do treatment, what kinds, etc.). I also had to tell Kayden the results (I didn’t let the doctors talk to him about meds, testing, or treatment). I had to make a decision- what I felt would be life altering. 

When you’re praying and believing for something, and others are praying and believing with you, what do you do if it doesn’t happen the way you hoped? Do you lose faith? Do you doubt? Do you question God and His ability to heal? Do you panic and make decisions based on what testing is not showing and what you see?

This was a major shift in Kayden’s journey and a major test of faith for me. What I didn’t know, was it was actually a shift into healing. As I continued praying, that’s what he showed me. The last thing I wanted for Kayden was chemotherapy. I did not loose faith though, and did not doubt my God. Neither did Kayden.

Did I cry- absolutely.

Did I want to scream- definitely.

Did thoughts come into my mind that he would die- yes.

But I kept my stance of faith, shut down thoughts that were opposite of God’s promises, and increased in prayer and praise. I had to. I made declarations to remind myself and to tell the enemy to shut up. Is He not Jehovah Rapha?!?! So I declared things like this:

• Kayden will live and not die in Jesus Name!

• God is Kayden’s healer.

• Kayden has life, and he has life more abundantly.

• The same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in Kayden, and that Spirit quickens Kayden’s mortal body.

When praying and believing for a miracle and healing, I’ve learned His plans, ways, and thoughts are so much better than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9). That’s what His Word says. I’ve read it, but now I had to live it out on a greater scale.

Whatever it looked like, I kept the faith and followed His leading. Day 11, Abba told me to agree to chemotherapy treatment and He showed me why. So I did. That was tough, and I cried. This meant chemo, medications, procedures, hospital stays… It was a lot. I literally had to fully and completely trust Him. But I did. Many surrounded us with love, support, and prayers as well.

When I say the miracles and healing increased dramatically, that very day… that is an understatement! Kayden’s turn around in all ways was immediate (this surprised the doctors). The Great Physician has done exceedingly, abundantly, above all I could have asked, think, expected (Ephesians 3:20-21). Pain left quickly. Strength came quickly. Remission came quickly. Peace came quickly.

When healing comes different, it still comes. Who am I to tell Abba how to heal and how to perform the miracles? What He’s done far exceeds what I was asking for. Can He do it- yes. Won’t He do it- yes. How He does it… leave that all up to Him, for his ways are for greater than ours. Just pray and have faith. Ask, believe, receive (Mark 11:24) That is what His Word says. So I take Him at His Word.

I pray we all take Him at His Word and increase in faith. I pray we take it seriously as we talk to Him to receive answers and directions for every area of our lives. His ways are better and higher than our ways…

Lesson in the Journey:

Healing is a promise. Stand on that promise.

The prayer life is the performance. The Lord performs the work.

As I pray, I faith and He response.

Promises for the Journey:

Isaiah 55:8-9

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

Mark 11:24

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received^[c] it, and it will be yours. 

Romans 8:11

If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus^[a] from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

Matthew 6:25-34

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”