1 John 5:14-15 AMP

¹⁴ This is the [remarkable degree of] confidence which we [as believers are entitled to] have before Him: that if we ask anything according to His will, [that is, consistent with His plan and purpose] He hears us. ¹⁵ And if we know [for a fact, as indeed we do] that He hears and listens to us in whatever we ask, we [also] know [with settled and absolute knowledge] that we have [granted to us] the requests which we have asked from Him.

Reflections on the Journey

**A Journal writing from December, 2023- Day 2 of chemotherapy, Day 12 of being in hospital and original diagnosis:

So… We’ve stayed away from processed foods as much as possible, and Kayden’s been gluten-free and sugar-free since we’ve been in the hospital. I’ve been telling him no because I knew his body couldn’t handle it. His appetite changed as well- he didn’t want to eat much the last few days. The one time I gave him gluten, he was in the bathroom for a while, so I’ve been adamant about no gluten and no sugar.

A basketball mom friend brought homemade pancakes to us after I told her he was wanting pancakes, but I didn’t want him having the hospital pancakes. I didn’t know she was going to make them. I didn’t ask her to nor expect her to, but she did. It was such an unexpected blessing, and I didn’t know why at the time. She brought a pan full of pancakes to the hospital… they weren’t gluten free or sugar free, but they were delicious- organic and made from scratch at home. She also brought homemade syrup (they have a farm). Kayden smiled so big when he saw the pan. 

Crazy, but I felt complete peace about it… so I let Kayden eat as many as he wanted with the syrup. This morning he ate five pancakes, and I prayed his stomach wouldn’t hurt and he wouldn’t have a bathroom stint again. He had no issues after eating them.

Today was Kayden’s 2nd dose of chemo. It’s a different chemo. I didn’t know they give two other meds before to help with possible immediate side effects, so he got three new meds today. I prayed against side effects and issues. He had zero issues with all of it.

As I’m sitting here listening to worship and watching Kayden sleep, this dropped in my spirit:

Kayden needed something heavy on his stomach to handle what they were going to give him.

Omg!! That’s why he had the urge for pancakes and that why I had peace as he ate it all!! And since I didn’t want him having the hospital ones, the Lord sent someone with pancakes!

The Lord said to me- “There is a reason and a plan for everything. Trust me.”

I’m so in awe of this process and what the Lord is doing and showing me 😭😭🙌🏾🙌🏾

Yet another reminder- Don’t fear the plan, the process, or the people. 

Hebrews 10:35-36 AMP

³⁵ Do not, therefore, fling away your [fearless] confidence, for it has a glorious and great reward. ³⁶ For you have need of patient endurance [to bear up under difficult circumstances without compromising], so that when you have carried out the will of God, you may receive and enjoy to the full what is promised.

Our faith is not based on experiences. It’s based on the Word of God. Trust and stand firm on His promises. 

Don’t change your stance. 

It doesn’t matter what it looks like. 

Don’t fear tests. Don’t fear doctors. 

Eyes on Jesus.

**End Journal Entry

What a reminder! As I read this, I felt compelled to share it. This made me pause and reflect on what the Lord brought us through.

On the journey with Kayden, my confidence was not in myself, but in the Lord. There were times we needed something and the Lord sent an angel in the form of family or friends to help and bless us. In the hospital room, from the day Kayden was first diagnosed, and every day after, I sought Abba. I trusted that His Holy Spirit would lead and guide me in every decision. I quickly learned He would provide all that was needed to get us through.

As I prayed and sometimes cried, I had to believe the Lord was with us on those many road trips, driving eight hours to the clinic in Houston for treatment. I prayed before and after anything entered Kayden’s body—whether chemotherapy, preventative medicines, food, IV fluids, or anesthesia. I didn’t always know what was coming or what needed to be done, but I was confident that the Lord did. I had to believe Kayden would live and not die, as the Word says, even as he was life-flighted from the Tulsa ER to the ER in Houston because of repeated seizures. By faith and with confidence, I chose to believe that Kayden would come through every surgery well and that every blood count test would still show remission. I prayed and believed that all would be well after each bag of chemo was hooked up, after every change and unexpected hospital stay, through every financial crisis, and every time I had to leave my daughter behind. Above all, I had to place my confidence in Abba—more than in doctors, more than in family, and more than in myself.

Did fear and doubt come- yes. But I did not dwell there. I learned that the more I focused and believed in the promises of God, the more I trusted and had faith. Since then, I have lived my life this way. I desire to walk led by the Holy Spirit, keeping my eyes on Jesus and confidently trusting Him with every need— whether it’s healing, provision, guidance, understanding, or direction. He is the only One who knows our tomorrow.

I pray this encourages many to truly walk with Abba and to seek Him in all ways and in all things. I pray that everyone who reads this will grow so close to the Lord that their confidence rests in Him alone—the only One who knows our tomorrow. I pray we learn to listen and walk by faith—even when it doesn’t make sense. I pray that every extra step of faith that is needed, in every area where answers are sought, will be taken.

Promises for the Journey

Jeremiah 17:7 NLT

⁷ But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.

Proverbs 3:5-8 NKJV

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; ⁶ In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. ⁷ Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil. ⁸ It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones.

Psalm 56:3-4 NKJV

³ Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. ⁴ In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?